What The Hell Is Democracy? - Cats' Classroom

A class in a cats’ school.
Students have decided to play a drama at the school festival.


Teacher:
OK, so you’ve picked a play. Now decide on the cast.
You’ve learned about democracy the other day, right? Use your knowledge and do the casting democratically.

cat's classroom

 

Tabby Cat:
The role of princess should be done by Himalayan. She's good-looking and has long hair.

Small Mustache Cat:
Let’s decide democratically.
...Raise your paw if you think Himalayan should play the princess?

Majority of the class raise their paw.

Small Mustache Cat:
OK, it’s fixed.
What a democracy our class is!

Hitler Cat

 

Himalayan:
What? You’ve casted a role to me without my consent?
I wanted to do the role of the bitchy queen!

Majority 1:
It was voted for by majority of the class, so just follow!

Majority 2:
Yeah, it’s democracy!

Majority 3:
It’s a good role, why complain?
All you need to do is just to sit there smiling in a beautiful costume, waiting for the prince to save you.

Princess Diana in a gorgeous dress and a tiara with a sad face

 

Himalayan:
Ugh, democracy sucks!
It means other pawple decide what I do?
Giving zero fxxk to my own will? WTF!
...Well, then at least cast my bae Muezza for the prince!

Boldie Cat:
Muezza The Warlock?
He’s a believer of black magic! That’s Interfaith!

White Cat:
Besides, there’s no such thing as a prince with black hair.
A prince should be pure white, fair & lovely.

Small Mustache Cat:
OK, raise your paw if you think White is suitable for the pure and sacred prince.

Majority of cats raise their paw.

Fair and Lovely Cat

 

Muezza The Bicolour Cat:
WTF is wrong with interfaith? We’ll get married after graduation.

Boldie Cat:
You’re trying to increase the black magic believers! Love Jihad!

Muezza:
Who gets married for conversion in faith? Don’t you know any better purpose for marriage?
And Himalayan would slice me into pieces and give to dogs if I dare to marry her for such bakwas!

Muezza shivers.

article about Love Jihad law

 

Muezza:
Basically you lot always hate us, don’t you?

Majority 1:
Why not? Y’all are creepy!

Majority 2:
Y’all cause disasters!

Majority 3:
I heard that the recent PAWVID pandemic was caused by your pals!

article about Tablighi Jamaat case

 

Boldie:
And let us make it clear... The magic medicine the princess would take should be the mouse urine.

Himalayan:
Yuk! No way! That’s gross!

Himalayan vomits on the floor.

Boldie:
How rude! Mouse is a sacred animal! Its urine cures any plagues.

article about cow urine drinking party

 

White Cat:
Eeeeyyy puke everywhere!
Oi, Cleaner, clean the mess.

Mottled Cat:
Why should I do cleaning during the class discussion?

Majority 1:
Because you’re on cleaning duty!

Majority 2:
Like forever!

Majority 3:
It’s no use you sitting in the discussion anyway. There’s no role for you.

Majority 4:
Just clean up as you’re assigned to.

Mottled Cat angrily cleans the puke without any equipments.
Himalayan looks away uncomfortably.

article about manual scavenging of Dalits in India

 

Calico Cat:
Isn’t this wrong?
I don’t feel this is democratic at all.
Do we force pawple to do things which they aren’t happy with?

Small Mustache Cat:
We’re deciding things with raising hands and seeking for the happiness of the biggest number of pawple democratically.

Majority 1:
Yeah, if you lose in the majority vote, shut up and follow the majority.

Majority 2:
That’s democracy, isn’t it?

Majority 3:
Disagreeing with the majority’s decisions is against democracy.

many cats staring

 

Tiny Cat:
Yo that’s not right!
We learned that democracy is to discuss thoroughly and seek for the common ground where every cat is happy, including the minorities.

Majority 1:
Shut up, keep your big mouth shut, you females!

Majority 2:
Do we ever need to consider the happiness of the females or creeps or cleaners?

Majority 3:
The ones who disturb the happiness of the majority are obstacles for our happy class! Anti-class!  

Cat destroying The Statue of Liberty

 

School Newsletter Cat:
I think there are a lot of questions to be asked here.
I will write an article with the facts and publish in the school newsletter.

Small Mustache Cat:
You can’t. I’ve just cut the on-campus internet.

School Newsletter Cat:
How dare you?
Where’s our press freedom to report the facts?
Where’s everyone's right to know?
Without having the information as the criteria of judgement, we can’t discuss anything.

Small Mustache Cat:
The role of you school media is to amplify the voice of us democratic majority.

Black Spec Cat:
Yes! I am the spokespawson of the majority!
Whoever disturbs us would be banned immediately! With the sheer suddenness of the move! The unexpected nature of the move! Blah! Blah! And blah blah blah blah... (keeps talking without a breath)

Majority cats lock up the School Newsletter Cat in the locker.

article about the journalists getting arrested in India

 

Tiny Cat is drawing a cartoon on the blackboard.
The picture shows many cats lying with their belly up in front of Small Mustache Cat, Boldie Cat, and Black Spec Cat.

Calico Cat:
Hahaha this is dope!

Small Mustache Cat:
What’s this, is this me? It’s a defamation! I’m so hurt!

Majority 1:
Yeah our sentiment is so much hurt!

Majority 2:
So offended!

Majority 3:
Apologise!

Tiny Cat:
I create what I believe!

Majority 4:
What an anti-class! Anti-national!

Majority cats lock up the Tiny Cat in the locker.

article about Indian courts accusing cartoonist and comedian

 

Majority 1:
The warlock also spoke ill of us and laughed at us!

Muezza:
What? What are you talking about? I haven’t sai…

Majority 2:
“It doesn’t matter!”

Majority cats lock up Muezza in the locker.
 

article about Muslim comedian arrested for no reasons

 

Himalayan:
Just WTF is this?
Unless we're the majority, we can’t say anything?
The class is ours, too, no? Majority can do anything to the minority kya?

Calico Cat:
If we can’t express our opinions without any fear, thorough democratic discussion is impossible. 
Freedom of speech is the basement of democracy.

Himalayan:
And you guys are scared of the pawple who laugh at you, right?
You’re even scared of Muezza who hasn’t said anything about you!

All Majority:
(Having their brains stop functioning)
“Aaaaaaa shut up! Shut up and obey us!!”

Majority cats attack those who expressed dissents. The "dissent cats" get injured.

article about the goons who attacked JNU students

 

Teacher:
Aaaahh stop the violence! Non violence!!

Tabby Cat:
What’s so great about you, teacher?
Why do you side with them?

The teacher cat receives three major scratches and totters out.

 article about the worshipper of Godse

 

Cats from the School Council and other classes rush in.

Student Council President:
Save democracy!
Save the freedom of speech!

Small Mustache Cat:
You outsiders stay away from our own issues. Get out.
Everything is fine in this class.

Boldie:
Yeah, our class has our own traditions and culture.

Majority cats kick out the “outside” cats.
 

 amnesty india's ban in India

 

Now, hoomans of India, hoomans of the world’s biggest democracy, please guide the cats.
What should a happy class look like, in your opinion?
Do you think democracy should function fully? Or are you too much of democracy?
What's your take on democracy? 

 


Bonus Video
I know, it's not fair to pick up a TED Talk video as a Bonus Video.
But check out this brilliant speech on how womxn are actually leading the struggles for a democratic society peacefully, and why womxn can.
...No no, not because they're mothers. I don't support that "splendor of motherhood" context.

  


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